Life is only available in the present moment

"I turned my thoughts to consider wisdom, and also madness and folly..."

My search for spiritual renewal began with healing my wounded heart years ago before I stumbled upon this sufi path...

"If you don't have the wound of a broken heart, how can you know you're alive? If you have no broken heart, how do you know who you are? Have been? Ever have been?

Edward Albee, The Play About Baby

After stumbling some more...acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional love soon became part of who I am today. This must be another milestone that I'm approaching...I can feel myself like a machine, slowly shutting down...one part at a time...it's time to reflect...take stock...meditate.

I've been running on "auto-pilot" since Monday. Quietly breezing through my week...despite the problems, the emotional highs and lows of school life...I seemed to have had all the answers...just dealt, I guess...then I realized that my emotions were spent, my thoughts were focused on my mother. Moments of little breakdowns scattered among the efficiency and effectiveness I seemed to display at work. I'd be teaching a class, and for a moment, just for a moment...a tear would roll down my cheek...or in a staff meeting, mid sentence...my eyes would well up...my silent breakdowns...

My meditation practice this weekend: Mindfulness of Feeling...tactile sensations and bodily awareness. Practicing to become more aware of the physical sensations that I am experiencing. Getting myself out of "auto-pilot."

Reminding myself that life is available only in the present moment.

Namaste.